One day, at a moment that we do not choose, our body – or a part of our body – decides to stop functioning. Discomforts, accidents and failures happen at any moment: while getting up in the morning, cooking, playing tennis, sitting on the toilet, driving… And although we were living our life a certain way, confident we were moving in a specific direction, our momentum is stopped by dizziness, abdominal pain, a broken bone, a heart that stops beating, a shortness of breath, mental health decreasing, inflammation spreading.
Life is fragile.
How many times have we heard this phrase? We only seem to truly understand when we are personally touched by this fragility. Just in my environment…
…I have seen many friends, whose mental health shifted, enter in psychiatry at Hotel-Dieu.
…I met an excellent dancer, who less than one year later, lost mobility in his legs after a tree fell on them.
…I recently met a man in his forties who is trying to live with severe post-traumatic stress after being in a serious accident while he was practicing one of his favorite sports.
…a close friend saw her life plans transform after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis
…a friend lost mobility in both arms after a hunting accident, just before he turned 20.
…a friend told me how her life was completely different before she was paralysed without cause, in her early thirties.
And there are more.
Day after day, lives are transformed, shifted, flipped, modified, for better or worse. Good luck. Bad luck. Who knows?
I got a taste of that during the months when inflammation was taking over my body. Every day was different from the previous, sometimes better, sometimes worse. While every move was difficult, I felt like I was touching death. I remembered the before, “when all was well” and I could not help but say one day “that would be it”. Yes, one day my health will drop and will not improve. How many thoughts did I have for those people, young and less young, who see life slowly fade away.
Almost every day, I write all the gratitude I have for getting better in my journal. I enjoy every small daily gesture that I do without pain and I cry of joy when I walk in nature, on uneven ground, a ground that was inaccessible to me not too long ago.
I wish to always stay connected to this fragility and continue to savor every moment and experience dozens of small victories every day. Yes, every gesture counts, every step, every cerebral connection, every meal digested, every breath, every heartbeat…
… all those are small victories to celebrate.
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As long as I can remember, my beliefs have led me to trusting pharmaceutical medication when I get sick.
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