Of my 35 years alive, I have been in a relationship for 19 years. Yes, 19 years. Truly beautiful years! Beautiful years, because I got the opportunity to share my life with wonderful men, who supported me, loved me and motivated me to go beyond.
Then, last fall I became single. Love was still present between Him and I, but our life plans stood in our way. After six years, he told me he wanted a child. After crying many times, I told him: “thanks for everything, see you soon; hoping to see you again when our paths cross.”
I took my life’s baggage and I left. I found a new home and I decorated it as I wanted: some wood, stones, turquoise curtains and dimmed lights.
With my passion and open-mindedness to discover the world and its inhabitants, I meet new people daily. People get shaken up by my supportive eyes, are attracted to the attention I give them, are called by my sincere interest in them. I love human beings and their true potential. I have great curiosity and I am thirsty to hear the stories of those who cross my path.
Men approach me “what if I am the man of your life?” Then I smile. Yes… what if? I doubt it. I am looking for no one. They answer: “It’s all good, I understand: you are not ready to be in a relationship.” I smile again. Because once more, they do not understand.
I am single by choice. I do not want to be in a relationship. In fact, I am merging with the bird inside of me, a strong bird that travels, lands where it wants, its feet free from any attachment.
Most of my life, I experienced the couple’s life: living together, sleeping closely, waking next to the other, sharing meals, always someone to turn to, etc. And since I see life as plenty of wonderful experiences, now I want to live the experience of being single.
I almost know by heart the foundations of a woman in a relationship. Today, I choose to taste the foundations of a single woman.
I want to connect with my own resources.
I want to cook for myself.
Plan dinners when I want.
Receive a friend for breakfast at 7am if I want to.
Say yes to a friend who invites me to a weekend at a cottage.
Sign up for a dance event alone.
Dare to follow my desires to travel, as many as I have.
Take my car (my first one ever!) and go in the mountains when I want to.
I want to say yes to the turns ahead of me, without looking at the other to make sure we choose the same.
Yes, I am single by choice, because I feel it is right in my life, at this time. I feel full; full of life, projects, dreams.
My life is truly beautiful.
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Today, I cry for what the pain prevents me from doing. Although there were improvements over the previous weeks, I still can’t accept the stillness taking over my body.
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