I want to live my life with open arms. Place my dreams, desires and whispers in the palm of my hands, observing them through the lens of surrender.
Does this mean my wishes disappear? No. Personally, I do not wish to stop wanting. I want to keep dreaming with complete acceptance of what will manifest in the end. Deep down, I wonder if this is simply a way to live with the belief that “everything happens for a reason.”
I believe that the more I live, the more I attain this ideal life. I welcome ideas and projects that come from within, I take steps in that direction, I persevere through everything, with faith, and I celebrate the outcome, no matter what it is. As said in the tale of the old Chinese man, told by Lao Tseu, “Good luck. Bad Luck. Who knows?” No matter what is present on my path, I remind myself that I only know one part of the story and that the word “know” is usually too strong… Let’s say that I only see a part of what we call the “big picture”.
Concretely, what does it mean?
I let myself read and dream, target some destinations and activities, note them and orient my choices to fulfill those desires, knowing that I can see the positive in all things, whether the outcome is as intended or not.
A temple is inaccessible due to construction? Ah well, I will use the time I calculated to go visit it for something else, that perhaps was not in my original plans.
I can’t find a Couchsurfing host? Let it be. I will stay at a hostel. Who knows who I will meet at this hostel and who might make this trip unique?
Exceptionally, the large historical site I wanted to visit is closed to the public? Let’s change direction and see where the flow takes us!
I wanted to go to a certain city, but the transits are packed? Why not hitchhike or visit another city that I would have not thought of?
Traveling with open arms is freeing, it brings a lot of freedom and extraordinary discoveries.
In my mid-thirties, as I am writing these lines, I can say that I am in my 3rd profession. It could suggest some professional instability, however I prefer saying it gives me the option to stay deeply connected to who I am and who I am becoming day after day. First, I have been a missionary. People would ask me “will you always be a missionary?” and I would answer that I didn’t know, but that in the moment I truly felt like I was where I belonged. How could I have secured a career if I am everchanging? Then one day, it no longer felt like I belonged. The change was not easy. However, I decided to go through it with open arms and accepted to let go of that part of my life and welcome the next. (Ok my transition sounds super zen, but at that time, I wasn’t so zen hahaha) I started teaching languages and I worked many years for a company. I helped develop a course program for their needs, then one day, life showed me that it was time to move on. I mourned that internal certainty, but I felt I was being called elsewhere. Do I have a guaranteed pension plan? No. It’s up to me to save up. Do I have financial security, social advantages or even work insurance? No, none of that. I only have faith in myself and my life, and I move through my professional life with open arms, listening to my internal callings.
Experiencing my professional life with open arms makes room for the changes that are happening within me, as I journey from one season to the next. It brings so much more freedom.
Being in love with open arms means you dare to love without ever holding on too tight to have them stay at any cost. You dare to cherish, make projects, dream together without ever taking the other for granted. Encouraging the other to live fully as you do, having faith that our paths will continue to unfold together for a time that will deeply satisfy both. In my current love life, we experience our couple differently: we let the other travel alone, encourage them to make friends with men and women, live their passions with or without each other, support projects that speak to their soul, even if sometimes we are scared to lose each other along the way…
Being a lover with open arms fills me with great gratitude for each day spent together, and offers me the freedom to be 100% myself, even in a relationship.
Since my youth, I have wanted to make sense of my present. I looked for the Truth, with capital T and I thought I had found it… And after several years of believing it profoundly, something ruptured inside me (click here to read some more).
The process for leaving the black and white life and moving into this grey zone was long. For a long time, I resisted, keeping my arms closed. Then one day, I dared to open my arms and believe.
Believing with open arms is to forge my vision of the world with my beliefs, intuitions and life experiences, while still remembering that I do not know the Truth. It’s going within and accepting that I am everchanging. What is today might not be tomorrow. It’s welcoming the Other in everything they believe, without trying to convince them. And most of all, for me, it’s trying to find what resonates most with me.
Internal seasons come and go, and having faith with open arms welcomes them and invites me to develop unique roots.
I can imagine that this way of being in a relationship is not ideal when we are building a family together. The fear that everything comes tumbling down is strong, really strong. I am aware that it applies to my professional life as well, especially when there are family obligations at stake or a certain quality of life desired. Personally, I choose to live the present moment with the least payments and attachments possible, to build a life with arms fully open. I choose to build my home within me, letting my roots grow, and work on my internal trust and security. I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason. I choose to see the positive side of things.
With this solidified foundation, I can live with open arms more easily.
Click here to read what happened two days after I wrote this article.
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January 2012. 9 months after I left everything. I am meeting with the church’s pastor, my ex-husband, the assistant pastor...
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