Living With Open Arms… Continued

Several weeks ago, I shared with you one of my life’s philosophies: to live with open arms. Two days after posting the article, I woke up with swelling in my body and an acute sore throat.

Never would I have imagined to be led so far in this way of living, to open my arms even more.

I tolerated the pain for a few days, then I consulted a doctor, who told me to wait patiently for a month and see how the swelling would do. Finally, I reached my limit for passive waiting. It all started in one knee, the tip of a finger and my throat, then as days passed, the other knee followed, the whole finger, part of my hand, my jaw and recently, both feet. Something hints me that it is also spreading towards the groin and hip.

Possible diagnosis? Arthritis.

I replayed the various meetings with specialists and I explored the emotional, physical, spiritual and nutritional causes. Additionally, I wonder if my famous monkey bite (article in French) could be related, because, to this day, science does not point to one unique cause for arthritis.

I’ve only been living with open arms for a few weeks. Actually, I always do it, but right now, I am experiencing it in a more painful and conscious way. I feel that not only my arms are open, but my whole body and my life are as well. Nutrition, predilected activities, daily routine… I won’t name everything I had to change suddenly in my life, but at least I want to share with you this part that is pushing me to the depths of this dear philosophy. I adapt every single detail of my life, my body, my budget, my schedule and my social commitments to fit this new…temporary I hope… reality.

Sometimes, I experience an enormous amount of pain and anger. I want to allow myself to feel like I am my body’s victim. Then I remind myself that “everything happens for a reason.” I care for myself like never before by taking baths, sleeping and through Creative Journaling.

Somehow, I know this wave passing through me will bring me further and invite me to surpass myself.

Water erodes and reshapes, and maybe that’s the message conveyed by the swelling inside me. So much mystery and many questions left unanswered. And when I get lost in this turmoil of nonsense, a wise man whispers in my ear:

“Good luck. Bad luck. Who knows”…