Experiencing Gratitude In The Midst Of Illness

A friend once asked me: “What is your illness helping you do that you were not able to do for yourself before?”

As I was asked this question when the pain started, I didn’t know what to answer. But after several weeks of resistance, I felt like although words were missing initially, answers were waiting for my permission to be revealed.

Click here to read on the start of my journey with pain.

I pondered the question, and a few days later, I felt words come up. So I wrote in my journal…

For months, I…

• Felt the need to slow down
• Expressed the desire for more me-time in my schedule
• Had the intuition that I must change birth control
• Felt the desire to reconnect with my natural cycle
• Observed the need to see fewer people
• Affirmed my wish to eat more vegetarian foods

I left for Asia, a trip that transformed and moved me. I came back home and this return affected me negatively. Just like that kid’s toy where you insert a cube, star or circle in the right holes, I felt a change within myself shaping me differently, no longer allowing me to “fit in the same hole as before”. I felt like I needed a hammer to get back into the mold of my life; I speak of this difficult return in this article.

I am back from the East and I want to…

• Step out of my constant survival mode
• Live with abundant time and resources
• Reconnect deeply with my spirituality
• Know how and where to stand within my relationships
• Be myself, simply
• … without forgetting all the other desires expressed before.

As I was writing this in my journal the other day, I felt such great gratitude for how the illness allowed me to touch upon ALL these points! As I was sitting on my chair, I acknowledged my body for being loyal to my soul’s whispers that wanted to be heard (a bit harshly I must admit haha). Not only hearing them to discard them and going on with my life, but truly hearing them and making space for them.

I will share more on those positive changes in future articles. For now, I will relax in a comforting lavender bath…